Go Jesus, It’s your birthday! And if we’re ever to be thankful and mindful
of just one person… it’s you. There are
scars on this ragged heart of mine… and you know fully what each of those looks
like. Scars from my younger years… scars
from my dating years… scars from my married life… and scars from
motherhood. You wept along with me and
felt the depths of my pain. When I was
beyond hope and in pain that I couldn’t shoulder myself, you shouldered that burden
for me. Not that I wish immense pain on
anyone, but I can tell you that the songs of Sunday school are true and you know this truth when it is all you have left. When I sang “I have a joy, joy, joy, joy down
in my heart” and “I have a peace that passes understanding down in my heart” as
a child… I thought we were just being happy and working on our tongue
twisters. As an adult, I know that the
source of my joy is Him and I’ve felt those mighty arms wrap around me and
truly offer a peace that surpasses all understanding. A peace that come in a time when peace seems
impossible… a peace that covers me like a warm, weighted blanket and only
allows me to feel what I can bare.
When we had the boys and desperately wanted to add to our
brood, we prayed and prayed for another baby.
Months of negative pregnancy tests had me down in the dumps. [I know
many people have these for years… and I can’t begin to imagine that
heartache] On Christmas day four years
ago, I came walking down our hallway with my first positive pregnancy test with
Ellie. Brandon scooped me up in his arms and we cried and celebrated. Our Christmas miracle! A few days later, I’d hit the altar at church
and surrender this child over to the Almighty.
I knew that only He could control what was happening to this tiny blob
of a baby who I already loved so much. When
I’d look back on my journal entry from this week, I saw that the same week
where I was overwhelmed with emotion on that altar was the week that this
little baby’s heart would beat for the first time. I’m convinced that God had us waiting for
this baby until he knew that we were really ready for all that would come our
way. And that heartbeat… yep, he knew it
wouldn’t beat exactly as it should… and brought me to my knees to surrender the
situation to Him. When times seemed
uncertain, He’d be there to wrap those mighty arms around me again – as he had
through other tough times in my life.
When we were too weak to carry on, the prayer warriors for Team Ellie
Bug would allow Jesus to lift that yoke from our shoulders and carry the weight
that we couldn’t.
We thank our church family who has supported us and stood in the gap for us through the years. They've done fund raising for us, they've brought meals, they've prayed and pitched in to help with the boys. These folks hold us in prayers and visit us in the hospital. We are forever grateful for them today, too.
Today we celebrate a baby.
A baby that humbled himself and came down to earth to save us all. He paid an unfathomable price that gave us
hope for the future. He saved us. On his birthday 2,017 years later, we’re
still impacted each and every day by a man who walked this earth for a mere 33
years. He made all the difference in our
world and allows us to live and love and find joy in our busted up lives. This post is short because this is so simple
and powerful. Jesus saves… and today, we
remember and honor His miraculous birth.
As much as we like to make it about the gifts and the food and the egg
nog… I hope we each take some time to remember the true meaning of this day and
I hope we can all reflect on times in our lives when we felt His presence. Almighty God, King of Kings, The Great
Physician… Jesus our Savior… Merry Christmas!
I am ending this post with the heaviest of hearts and asking for you to lift another family in prayer. While you are opening gifts with your family, a family near and dear to us will be coping with the loss of their daughter. Our two littles lost one of their best friends today... parents who have been fighting the good fight for five years are laying their weary heads down this evening knowing that their little girl is in the arms of Jesus. My heart is completely shattered for them. Please lift my friends in constant prayer. I will miss the laughter and sweet hugs of their little girl. She's touched so many lives and will never be forgotten. Fly high sweet girl. We love you. Jesus... hold her in your arms tonight and blanket her friends and family with your peace. With broken hearts, we rest in your everlasting love.
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